現実感
台風が去った後、翌朝の澄んだ青空を気持ち良く迎えることができ、雨戸を開け、家の周りを点検し、本当に幸いにも何も被害が無く、また普段の生活に戻ることができたが、被害に遭われた方々のことを思うと胸が痛く、Facebook上では、ラグビーの歓喜と、被害の状況が、交互に映り出されて、そうなると、自分からそれらの事実がどんどん遠ざかるような気がして、どちらも現実で、どちらも大変なことだが、あまりにも両極端な出来事過ぎて、現実感が追いついていかない。
その現実感が追いついていかない様は、あの強烈な台風の最中にも感じていて、あまりにも雨風が酷くて、でも何もできない、ただじっと耐えるしかない状況で、ことさら不安にならないようにするためには、これは現実では無く、フィクションで、映画のセットの中に迷い込んでしまった位に思わないと、対応できない位だった。
だから、それが翌朝の青空でリセットされ、喉元過ぎれば熱さ忘れる、になるかと思ったが、そうは簡単には行かずに、続きがあり、あまりにも自分の状況とは違う被害状況に戸惑い、それは同じ台風に自分も晒されたからで、なぜか落ち着かない、ソワソワ感が止まらない。
ただ、それでも、明日はどうしようかな、何をしなくてはいけないのかなと考えるのだから、それは今日と明日を違うものにしようという意欲ととらえれば、きっと、その、落ち着きの無さやソワソワ感は、現実を脳か身体か心が消化しようとしているサインかもしれないと受け止めることにした。
"Reality"
After the typhoon left, I was able to greet the clear blue sky comfortably the next morning, opened the shutters, inspected the house, and fortunately there was no damage and I was able to return to my normal life. When I think about the victims, my heart hurts, and on Facebook, the joy of rugby and the situation of the damage are reflected alternately, and then I feel that those facts are moving away from me. However, both are real and both are tough, but both extreme events are too much to keep up with reality.
I don't want to be overwhelmed by the fact that the strong typhoon feels that the reality is not catching up, the rain and wind are too severe, but I can't do anything, I just have to endure it. For this reason, this was not a reality, it was a fiction that could only be dealt with if you didn't think you got lost in the movie set.
So, I thought that it would be reset in the blue sky the next morning and forget about the heat if it is too close to my throat, but it will not go so easily, there is a continuation, and I am confused by the damage situation that is different from my situation, That was because I was also exposed to the same typhoon, so I couldn't calm down.
However, I still think what I should do tomorrow and what I have to do, so if I think that it is a willingness to make today and tomorrow different, I'm sure the calmness and feeling of sorrow I decided to take reality as a sign that my brain, body, or mind is trying to digest it.